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Love is Blind Part 2

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In part one of this blog, I discussed a challenge to join me on this love journey by loving God and loving people. Just because I see something someone is doing poorly doesn’t mean I need to say something because love is blind. In this blog, I would like to discuss how love is blind to faults and clings to what is good. This is an essential part to loving people. Have you ever had someone use words that were harsh? Have you considered why they were saying the things they were to you? Could it be that they love you? They care enough to talk and to share a concern that they may have? Now granted, I realize that most people use words that are foolish and cause a ton of damage because of the way they deliver a truth. But, what if it wasn’t the words we focused so much on, instead the heart? Isn’t it the heart that causes people to say something in the first place?

I remember that when I was young my father was always hard on me. It seemed like he got onto me about everything all the time. It seemed like nothing was ever good enough. It was like I would never gain his approval. I remember so clearly being upset and angry with him for challenging me all the time. He chose to use words that weren’t very effective in communicating his point. He got angry and said things he didn’t mean. All that frustration trying to teach me. All that frustration because he loved me. Wait…. WHAT??? Yes, he loved me and always will. His heart (even if he didn’t know how to communicate it) is saying, “Son, I don’t want you to make this mistake. It will cost you down the road. This is not going to help you become who I know you can be.”

Oh how I wished I could have seen from this perspective when I was in the middle of these learning lessons. I would have been more readily teachable. I would have been eager for instruction. Funny how when we get the right perspective how it changes us. We become willing to hear, learn, and relate with someone we thought was the center of our problems. Really what happens is we are missing the heart of the matter. The heart is trying to communicate through imperfect words, actions, and expressions.

Romans 12:9-10 states “Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.”

I am so grateful for my father. He chose to love me even when I was stuck on stupid. He walked through it all with me. He never pretended to love me. He hated what I did that was not right. I think we all have something to learn about this Scripture. Love is hard when the rubber meets the road. What God is challenging us to do in this is learn to love. You can love a person and still hate what they are doing. But don’t let all that they are doing overshadow your love for them. God reminds us to, “Hold tightly to what is good.” Why? Because if we forget the good things that person does, we will allow the “wrong” to overwhelm the relationship. Then, all we want to do is throw in the towel and write the person off. People are too important for us to give up on them.

When I think about honor, I think about protection. When I honor someone, I protect them. That is not making an “excuse” for them to do the wrong thing (because love won’t let me make excuses), but I am going to pick them up with my words. Many times when someone is doing wrong, we kick them while they are down. I personally am my own worst critic. I see the good, the bad, and the ugly in me. I am harder on myself then most people are on me. This is important to consider because if I am going to “delight” in honoring people, I must realize that I am not here to kick them while they are down to feel better about myself. I am here to help pick them up. Only a person who loves can do that.

Love is blind. It has to be. I think we struggle with this concept because we don’t really love ourselves. The golden rule of course is, “Treat others how you want to be treated”, yet we mistreat people often (even if it is in our thought life). But we get mad when people mistreat us. The challenge on the table is to ask God to teach you how to love. How can you stop pretending to love and really love? How can you love with a genuine affection? How can we honor people better? I know, I know… But we are not the problem, they are. Right? Wrong. This is all about you. This is all about me. Chose to love blindly. This is real freedom. This freedom will stop all the drama and problems that our lives so quickly get stuck in. The answer is love. Help all the people you have problems with by loving them. Love walks with them and doesn’t condemn them. Love says we are going to get through this together. Love says I am not going to leave you like this. Love says I don’t care if it is hard. Love says I have your back. Love says I am not going to mistreat you. Without blind love, no one gets love. Without love, we are miserable. Chose someone this next week to love. Pray for them, go out of your way, and watch what happens.

Love is Blind

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When I think about love, I think of the happily ever after stories. Falling in love, running away together, white picket fence, and life is a dream. Falling in love is amazing and awesome! We are naturally excited about knowing the other person and spending more time with them. I remember when my wife and I started dating. We spent so much time together. There was nothing that she could do that was wrong. She was perfect! Me on the other hand is another story. I was still struggling through life. But I always made sure that I acted right when I got around her. I made sure that I had nice clothes on. I made sure that everything was perfect. I did whatever I could to make sure that she saw the best parts of me.

There are times that we have a Hollywood view of love. It’s a perfect love story and everything falls right into place. But I have never met anyone that has had a perfect love story. Many times there are struggles, strife, and stress that encroach on our relationships. I almost wonder if it was designed like that. As if God intended for imperfect people to be in relationship with other imperfect people to force us to learn and grow. Something that I have learned in life is: your weaknesses are other people’s strengths. It doesn’t mean that you are going to agree on methodology all of the time, but it does mean that you need people to help you where you are not strong.

This leads me to the title of this blog: Love is Blind. When I think about the love I have learned about from the Bible, I am challenged:

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”- 1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:4-7‬ ‭NLT

That is a tough pill to swallow. Wow! How much we have yet to learn. Something that catches my attention the most in all of that is: “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” What do you do when someone you love is going through a tough season? What about when they are not changing? Or how about if they don’t want to accept your observations or assistance? Will you choose to love them anyway?

I believe that if we really love the way the Bible encourages us to, we will be patient and not give up. We will always see the best in people, even when they are not doing the best they could. Just because you see something in someone’s life, does not mean you need to say something. As my Pastor Brandon Barber (Elevate Church) would say, “Love and Time will change anyone’s life”. I agree with this wholeheartedly. Love must be blind for us to love at all. It is through the good and the bad. It must endure through whatever mistakes or shortcomings someone may have. It is constantly encouraging them to be the person that they are called to be.

I have been guilty of not loving the way I should have or how I needed to in certain circumstances. That is why I believe that God is speaking to me to make some adjustments. To challenge the way I love and why I love. I want to love blindly. I want to be better at loving the unlovely, the hurting, the broken, my family, my friends, the world, in such a way that change truly comes to their lives. I want God to use me as an instrument of love to all that I come across in this life. That is all that really matters anyway: love God, love people. I will write again on love soon, but my challenge to anyone who may read this blog is to love blindly. Don’t go looking for problems and allowing those things to keep you from a life filled with love. I realize that there are different seasons of love and how love looks, but I want to be a person who looks at people and truly loves them with a God love. I challenge you to take the love journey with me and stretch outside of your comfort zone. It will take daily forgiveness and daily time with the One who is Love to be successful in this journey. Will you take the next step of faith and go on this journey with me?